Speck in the eye!

Hello! Wanted to share a quick clip of today.  I woke up this morning and since the coffee pot was fried (for a second time) due to an electrical problem in our house... I struggled in patience for the water to boil so we could pour hot water through the coffee pot filter in our non working coffee pot.  (a homemade french press)  I looked around and the 'mess' in my house was creating an anxiety.. or maybe it was the broken coffee pot? Or, maybe it was my lack of patience, the very sin within me?

I decided to go to the store and get my groceries. A car ride to the store without 5 kids is like a vacation. I knew that I needed to seek the Lord because my attitude was not going in a good direction.  I get in our jeep, put on 'devotionals on CD' that a friend graciously bought me.  The speaker spoke on how we KNOW God is there when things are fine and dandy, but do we tell God we know He is there when "the coffee pot breaks again" or "the house is disastrous ?"  Driving along, I unroll the window because it was a low of 76 and I wanted that cool air! (yes, 76 is cool once you live through 100+ and no AC).  Driving along considering what the speaker is saying, something flew in my eye.  I rub it.  Wrong thing to do. Pain. More Pain.  Can't see.  Every time my lid would close, it felt like my cornea was getting scratched. Still driving in the D.R. Lots of traffic.  Motos flying by.  Still Pain, still not able to see out of the left eye except somewhat out of a watering right eye.  I decide to pull off because I thought I would wreck ( good thing we bought the insurance that lets you go to a hotel instead of jail until authorities figure out what happens if there is an accident).  Call Josh.  Remember that the new PA on staff is on his way to the same store.  I able able to drive to meet him there.  In the store he everts my eyelid (of course customers were all around!) and using a Qtip removes a speck! Yes, smaller than a grain of sand.  The first time my eye lid shut after the removal...NO pain. It felt like such relief.

I asked Josh since I got the speck out of my own eye, can I share a few things with him now? (and he thought I was making a joke..)

Seriously, I pondered that speck.  That teeny tiny thing caused so much pain and discomfort.  It potentially could of caused an accident.  In Matthew 7, we are told that we have to remove a PLANK in our own eye before we pay attention to the 'speck of sawdust' in our brother's eye.  Wonder how much damage a plank would do over time? I am guessing a lot.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  Matthew 7:3

“He Put A New Song In My Mouth” - by Jen

“He Put A New Song In My Mouth” – By Jen

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm  place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to Our God…” Psalm 40:1-3

      Many of you know the struggles I faced the last year plus.  The past year has been one full of trials, stress, anxiety, fears, spiritual warfare, and lots of hanging on…

     Today I want to share with you how good and loving our Creator is !  When he wants to stretch us, challenge us, confront us, grow us, love us, and show us how big and mighty He is… He will use whatever measures He needs to.  He has used answering the call in my life.  When we felt led here, I knew it would not be easy, but I did not know that it would be the very thing to mature me, as Ephesians 4 tells of.  This journey has brought trial after trial, pain  upon pain, perseverance upon perseverance, questioning  upon questioning,  & searching the depths of my heart upon depths.  Through the  ‘heat’ of circumstances it only revealed my lack of trust in God in details, in the big picture, it revealed desires that were good, yet became idols along the way of chaos.  It revealed that every moment must be governed by my God, not me.  It revealed that He will be the only thing that is a Rock and never changing.

     I became depressed here.  Feeling the stresses of daily life here for a  year straight,  my thoughts took me captive.  I was becoming numb to good thinking, scripture, and life in general.  I wanted relief from the daily stresses on the mission field.  I felt imprisoned.  I know we were given peace when called..why on earth am I having to go through this turmoil? God, this is my last cry out… I am doubting You… where are You?

     He hears those calls. He heard it a year ago.  I did not have the faith to wait on Him to answer.  I took it into my own hands and tried to make life more comfortable for me.  “If I just…”etc  etc.  I was hanging on spiritually.  I doubted God ‘s existence even.   I was finally at my end.  That’s when He could work, when I surrendered everything.  My pride, my desire to control, my wants… all had to be surrendered.  He was the only thing I knew that was capable of fixing me.
He put a new song in my mouth, one of thankfulness and praise.  He provided a body of Christ that cared about us.  We were reached out to.  We, as a couple , were given  Biblical counsel.    We started hiding Gods Word in our hearts again (Ps. 119:11).  Matthew 7:24 challenged me to not just read and hear God’s word, but to DO them ( not do what my feelings told me), so that I will be a house standing firm in the midst of the storms.  We were challenged as a couple to write down our frustrations and to then write what we really wanted in those moments.  It was then that I realized that often the person or thing that was frustrating me was not the problem at all.  It was my desire (often good) became an idol in my heart.  And when that desire was challenged, my flesh reacted wrongly-equaling  bad fruit.   Satan was more than happy to show me how ugly my heart was through these trials and caused me to focus on my failures –I began to hate who I was and struggled to accept grace.  But doing this exercise helped me to see my hearts desires that did not line up with His. My hearts desires had become idols and the only way out was to repent quickly as God showed them to me, and in that moment ask for the Spirits guidance.  With Josh doing the same thing, peace was taking place in our marriage and home again.  Suddenly the power going out, the rain on dry laundry, the cat bringing dead animals in, the mosquito's,  the 5 busy kids,  and so on.. Were just that!   I am desiring to submit my desires to Jesus in hopes of producing good fruit (Ephesians 5:8-13).  I want to choose the good fruit over the bad fruit responses, but I can’t in my own strength.  If I focus on myself I only fall in to myself.  As I focus on scripture and Jesus I fall in to him and he has the strength to change my heart (Jeremiah 17:5-10).  I find myself thanking God now more often for hot showers that I get blessed with, the beautiful mountains, the staff I work with, the body of Christ, and thanking Him for– being in control  of ALL things.

      Now this is not an end process, I will forever be in process of becoming more like Christ.  But I am convinced of Paul’s words in Ephesians 4, “until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the son of God, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ”.   I know that this is good for me to walk through and I know that if this is making me more like Christ, then I welcome it.  I am grateful that He is the one walking me through this thing called life.

      I encourage you if you are in the midst of struggles or complacency, ask Him to mature you.  It has been a humble experience sharing these “weaknesses” with the Body of Christ but it is the Body of Christ that God has used to help me walk through some of my hardest days.  And don’t be like me, unprepared, trying to do this on my own.  Be ready for the road that follows with assurance that He is in your midst.  I am thankful for the new song in my mouth…and knowing His character better today.  He has shown his faithfulness, his gentleness, his grace…He has truly been my Shepherd.
-Jen

Thankful for these girls - part of the Body!

Dear Friends and Family!

We have been off the radar since we returned from our trip to the states.  Not only were we trying to settle into our new home, a medical team was here, we spent time with new staff that will join us in January, and the unexpected flood engulfed the lower half off the Makarios school.  The flood relief took a few weeks to get the school back and running.  God provided in advance, for a team of mostly men arrived a few days later and were able to help in the restoration efforts.  Makarios was also able to raise a good amount of funds to replace all that was lost.  Not only did the school suffer from the flood, but many of the people of Tamarindo were affected.  Makarios was able to help in relief for many children's families that attend our school, as well as neighbors and staff that were affected.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal with the staff and their families.  Christmas is really big out here so Christmas decorations were out long before Thanksgiving... we followed in the spirit and put our tree up a few weeks ago.  The kids are enjoying Christmas lights, cooking, and crafts!  The school has off two weeks around Christmas and our family is looking forward to a time where we can have, hopefully, lazy days and visit places like the capital, Santo Domingo!

In the first week of December, Josh will be traveling to Austin, TX for a board meeting for Makarios as well as being able to get face time with the staff there.  I will be continuing in my daily routine with the kids here while he is gone ( wish me luck!).  Pray for me when I am awaken by our cat bringing in live animals to play with in the middle of the night- usually this is Josh's job to evacuate rodents and flying birds!

Pray for us as we approach the time when we need to decide where the Lord is directing us.  Whether that be longer with Makarios, another ministry, or back to the states and whatever lies there.  Pray that as a couple we will be led in the same direction without confusion.  God is working on both our hearts right now and we desire to know the Father deeper and to bring Him glory in whatever we do.