Fears

Tonight we had some friends over for dinner.  Doesn't everything happen when you have guests over?  I heard screaming from our 2 year old Finley, which is a common occurrence from her about every 10 minutes on a normal day.  This scream was the one where you know you need to get there quickly.  I rushed into the boy’s room and found her holding her mouth, which was gushing blood.  "What happened?" I asked her sister and the friends little girl.  "She jumped off the bunk bed!"  Thankfully, the boys beds are in the shape of a "T" so she landed on the lower bed.  This was a "worry" of mine that she would jump from there one day.  Wasn't there to control that occurrence! Well, all the kids will be using, guess what type of bed, in the D.R.? BUNK BEDS.  When will I learn that "control" is formed from "fear"?

When Josh asked me to pray for a week about becoming the host couple in the Dominican, I said I would.  I truly did not expect peace on day two of praying.  I remember texting Josh at work to see what, if at all, was he being led to do.  He said "go".  Within a few days, we both had peace.  I don't recall ever feeling this type of peace before.  The kind where you can't explain it.

Once we decided we would commit to this, I remember one night crying with fears, anxiety, and worry.  The next morning I awoke, and was ready to challenge God with this "peace".  Like, okay God, "what about this?" "what about x,y,z?"...   So I start journaling each fear (because I know fear is just sin and I was not satisfied having fears when I felt peace)...then He graciously gives me scripture to diminish each fear I am bringing to Him.  Tate has been learning the names of God this year.  The Spirit starts reminding me that God is my Rock- my foundation to stand on when it gets rocky.  He is my Shepherd- He will carry me when I struggle to walk.  He is Jehovah Jirah- my provider.  He is eternal- He is my forever. 

Speaking of eternal, that week our kids were singing a phrase from a song, "Life is good, eternal life is better". And that popped into my head and I was calmed with the reality that, yes, this life in Holly Springs is GOOD, but eternal life is BETTER and what we do now matters for eternity.  Is. 55:8-11 tells me His ways and thoughts are higher than my own.  Okay, So my Father knows more than me... good..peace. Psalm 119:19 reminded me, "I am a stranger on earth.."  good...this wasn't intended to be my home anyways.  We are just pilgrims passing through.

I had total peace that morning.  As a friend reminded me, the peace that Philippians 4:7 speaks of: "and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".  I often can't give words to explain the peace He has given me about moving to the Dominican to serve.  All I know is that He has given us this opportunity, the peace that transcends all understanding, and we must obey.

I couldn't control Finley from jumping from the bunk bed.  I can't control what happens tomorrow or for that matter in the Dominican.  But I can trust in the One who has the control.  Would you pray that we would trust in God's sovereignty?