No Thank You!

One way I can love my children is by helping them understand Biblical truths: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving" Col. 3:23-24.  Josh and I are intentional about teaching our kiddos to find their identity and worth in Christ alone-not in their accomplishments or praise from men.  Now in teaching this, we must help them recognize the opportunities in which they get to choose to find their worth in Christ.  Do you ever feel like as an adult, we are learning these things over and over?  I certainly do!

I usually don't start out doing something with the thought in mind, "I hope they appreciate this" or "I hope he/she will recognize my hard work". And I wouldn't acknowledge this struggle or realize it on a daily basis.  However, when I am faced with feelings of not being appreciated, or lack words of affirmation,  this weird thing happens inside me and I feel as I am being wronged or hurt.  Why does hurt set in?, I ask myself.  Because my expectations were not reality.  And the reality was that my expectations were not met.  In our missions training, they say this causes a great 'twang' in our emotions- hence, feeling hurt.

This has happened to me many times in my life, I shouldn't be surprised when it still creeps up on me.  So, when an event occurs - the twang sets in.  I need to go process this.  One of my favorite places to do that is at the local gymnasium.  Here is what happened recently - I am on the treadmill, running as fast as I can (sweat it out girl, come on!).  The ipod is blasting music speaking truth into my ears.  Sensing the hurt... I run,  I sweat, run faster, more sweat, run faster.  I feel the stress starting to leave my body through my pores!     ...BOOM!  The Holy Spirit arrives.  ( I am convinced that the Holy Spirit hovers over the second of five treadmills at the gym.  It just happens to be the one I love to run on because it is in front of the open door- no AC in this DR gym! I am beginning to think the Spirit waits for me there on my workout days)  I hear this Holy Spirit influenced thought:  I am not allowing you to receive the recognition you hope to get because you need to live in confidence of WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST.  And you need to be BELIEVE that. The Father gave His Son to die for you- His love is that big!  Because of His Son, you are redeemed and sanctified.  No person on earth can ever love you as much as He does. He is the only one who will not disappoint you. 

Okay.  I think my response to the Lord was something like "do not let that person say 'thank you' or 'I appreciate you'....Father, I want my identity to be
in you alone.  If I do get thanked or shown appreciation, it may cut this trial short and pro-long learning this lesson.  I need to rest in the beautiful reality that I am Your child,  You love me,  & You have redeemed me.  Who I am in Christ- is what matters.

God uses all things to teach us...

I love having 5 children, all of which I learn from daily.  I can learn from the stupid things they do to the truths that they accidentally speak.

Two wonderful moments occurred recently where I found myself asking the question, "how am I like this or how can I learn from this?"

Very recently my 6 and 10 year old sons came running into the room holding their armpits and almost in tears claiming a burning sensation.  I looked and their armpits were bright red,yet scented with the yummy smell of cinnamon sticks.  Naturally I investigate and question them.  They said they wanted to 'smell good', so they sprayed "deodorant" into their pits. ( I wish we owned deodorant that smelled like cinnamon sticks.  But we don't.)  And why the heck are they worried about their armpits smelling good when they are still several years from puberty?.. why not invest interest in brushing your teeth,  I thought? Apparently Naive 1 and Naive 2 listened their 4 year old sister whom offered them the Bath & Body Works room spray-cinnamon scented- as a means of deodorant. Josh and I had a good laugh, mostly at the stupidity in the fact that the boys listened to her,the story teller in the family, of all people! (May I throw out there that little sister disappeared during the investigation)  As I went for a run that day, I wondered how many times I listen to my emotions or the world's opinion or the next best thing and God is thinking...'what on earth are you listening to them for?'  The silliness of the boys experience gave me a picture of what I am capable of doing myself if not grounded in Truth.

The other thing that spoke to me was a note I found typed on our ipad from our 8 year old daughter, Belle.  She is referencing an event in which we had a small fire at our old place in Montellano and the very next day the Lord provided a place that has been a complete blessing for our family.  It read as follows:

We moved to a new house. We also have an upstairs and a big kitchen. Ollie said, he loves his big room.  We have a big yard.  Our old house was little.  In our old house, I (belle) dreamed of having a new house, with a big upstairs and my dream came true!!  Because god made a good choice! By Belle.

"Because God made a good choice!"  "Because God made a good choice!"  Yes, He does.  Its a truth that is easy to forget.  He always makes good choices.  Because He knows the whole picture.  He holds our past, present, and future.  Her  note encouraged my heart to remember that even when I have no clue why events are occurring around me, He knows.  And He has my best interest in hand.  So may I walk with a posture that shows that I trust that my God makes good choices! 

May I ask you two things:

What voices are you listening to today and is it Truth?

Are you trusting in His Sovereignty through the circumstances that occur in life?

~Jen