No Thank You!

One way I can love my children is by helping them understand Biblical truths: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving" Col. 3:23-24.  Josh and I are intentional about teaching our kiddos to find their identity and worth in Christ alone-not in their accomplishments or praise from men.  Now in teaching this, we must help them recognize the opportunities in which they get to choose to find their worth in Christ.  Do you ever feel like as an adult, we are learning these things over and over?  I certainly do!

I usually don't start out doing something with the thought in mind, "I hope they appreciate this" or "I hope he/she will recognize my hard work". And I wouldn't acknowledge this struggle or realize it on a daily basis.  However, when I am faced with feelings of not being appreciated, or lack words of affirmation,  this weird thing happens inside me and I feel as I am being wronged or hurt.  Why does hurt set in?, I ask myself.  Because my expectations were not reality.  And the reality was that my expectations were not met.  In our missions training, they say this causes a great 'twang' in our emotions- hence, feeling hurt.

This has happened to me many times in my life, I shouldn't be surprised when it still creeps up on me.  So, when an event occurs - the twang sets in.  I need to go process this.  One of my favorite places to do that is at the local gymnasium.  Here is what happened recently - I am on the treadmill, running as fast as I can (sweat it out girl, come on!).  The ipod is blasting music speaking truth into my ears.  Sensing the hurt... I run,  I sweat, run faster, more sweat, run faster.  I feel the stress starting to leave my body through my pores!     ...BOOM!  The Holy Spirit arrives.  ( I am convinced that the Holy Spirit hovers over the second of five treadmills at the gym.  It just happens to be the one I love to run on because it is in front of the open door- no AC in this DR gym! I am beginning to think the Spirit waits for me there on my workout days)  I hear this Holy Spirit influenced thought:  I am not allowing you to receive the recognition you hope to get because you need to live in confidence of WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST.  And you need to be BELIEVE that. The Father gave His Son to die for you- His love is that big!  Because of His Son, you are redeemed and sanctified.  No person on earth can ever love you as much as He does. He is the only one who will not disappoint you. 

Okay.  I think my response to the Lord was something like "do not let that person say 'thank you' or 'I appreciate you'....Father, I want my identity to be
in you alone.  If I do get thanked or shown appreciation, it may cut this trial short and pro-long learning this lesson.  I need to rest in the beautiful reality that I am Your child,  You love me,  & You have redeemed me.  Who I am in Christ- is what matters.